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Dog Fæces Round-Up!

September 28, 2009


The pictures displayed herein are admittedly disgusting. But they are put forth in the name of science: in hopes of formulating a rational explanation grounded in physics and biology for a seemingly inexplicable phenomenon.

There is bad language too.

Behold, Vertical Defecation.


Admittedly we haven’t been going out much lately, but there are things one just doesn’t expect to change. Take, for example, my grandfather’s old adage, “Dog doody drops, down” (a.k.a. “The 4 D’s”).

Discovering dog shit arranged vertically on your block once will make you think. But after six times? You’re looking for that dog.

To be fair to the dogs, our sidewalk is pretty saturated, and no one enjoys “stacking flapjacks”. In fact, if this does represent an act of will, I applaud the dog that did it. He is made of uncommon mettle. Or else he is pooping through some sort of periscope-type contraption–which is also incredible, if not entirely respectable.

My operating hypothesis? Somebody has been eating too much Spurty.

UPDATE: The “why” revealed.

7 Comments leave one →
  1. anon permalink
    September 29, 2009 21:49

    Hate to be the bearer of bad news but that ain’t dog poo, dude.

    • September 29, 2009 21:55


      • anon permalink
        September 29, 2009 22:15

        If only, haha. I’ll assume that you aren’t baiting me and are just lucky enough to have not run into this before. I got here via the Mission Mission blog. Being a tenured resident of Capp St, I actually see this a fair amount. When a person doesn’t have a home, and thus no toilet, they have a tendency to lean against walls for leverage when taking care of their business. Sorry you had to hear it from a stranger.

      • September 30, 2009 07:19

        You make a solid point. I am also familiar with your scene.

        But given the particulars at play, this would have to be one tiny junkie. Like, garden gnome with a modest breakfast of pillaged groundcherries tiny.

        No, the more I think about it, the more likely the dog-periscope scenario begins to seem.

      • anon permalink
        September 30, 2009 16:43

        Gotcha. I guess the perspective isn’t obvious in the photos. Good luck with this.


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